Suck at gardening? Well don’t worry, with these tips and tricks you can suck even more!
- Water your plants with vodka so you don’t have to drink alone.
- Leave a bottle of water next to the plants in case they get thirsty during the night. That way you don’t have to wake up to feed them!
- Just buy plastic plants.
- Plant the seeds the right way up. You don’t want the tree growing upside-down.
- Play death metal to make it grow faster. The loud speedy BPM will get those plants dancing in no time!
- If the sun isn’t out, microwave your plant.
- If you live in a drought area then make sure to plant onions alongside your plants so if all else fails you have your tears to water them all.
- Don’t plug your phone into a plant to charge it. Photosynthesis doesn’t work like that.
- Don’t stare at plants while they’re growing. Lots of them are very shy and only grow when people aren’t looking.
- I didn’t know what flower bed meant, now i’m in a committed relationship with a cactus.
- Contrary to popular belief, roses are red but violets are violet, not blue.
- Be careful not to talk too much when cultivating your plants, oxygen doesn’t grow on trees.
- If your flowers/plants are native to certain countries (e.g: bonsai trees from Japan), be sure to sing to them in multiple languages.
- Plants don’t need love, they need discipline; fear and yelling at them makes them grow faster.
- If you have a cat or dog then make sure not to use gloves when gardening in your flowerbed.
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Hi, I'm Husna! I'm a Junior brand manager / creative designer. I love learning about different cultures and arts which influences my creativity and vision in storytelling/narrative and creative design. My interests lies with fashion trends, health and beauty and the entertainment industry!
Naomi is a digital marketer and content writer who enjoys writing informative and opinion pieces about social topics mainly to do with inclusion and diversity. Her passions lie in coming up with creative campaigns and using digital means to make positively affect change.
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